Sanity & Silence

I have plenty of friends, but I can only talk to a select few of them.
I mean those that I can share an actual dialogue with.
A dialogue that leaves both myself and the other feeling inspired – recharged.
My closest friends are those where we can pick up where we left off, regardless of how long it is since we last spoke.
None of the neediness.
I appreciate that.
Space. What could be more important in any relationship?
What could be more disruptive than clinginess?
Cling, and resentment and disrespect will surely follow.
I read somewhere that resentment is the number-one cause of divorce.
Can you be alone with yourself?
I was a postman with Royal Mail for ten years. I got to know a lot of the people I delivered to.
One time, a family was having an extension fitted; their garage turned into an office, that kind of thing. Every morning I would shout morning to the builders.
That’s right… shout.
Their paint-splattered radio was blaring out the latest pop hits.
“I don’t know how you can work with that on,” I said, “it would drive me insane.”
The builder looked at me with his dusty face.
“It keeps me sane,” he said.
A woman I delivered to told me how she had the TV on all day, but never watched it.
“Just for the noise,” she said.
Just to be distracted from the fact that one is alone with oneself.
I know many people like that.
Why is it so hard for us to be in silence? Not only that, but to be in silence and alone?
Every sound comes from a bed of silence.
That bed is calling for each and every one of us to sleep in it every now and then.
Before you go, it would be great if you could Like, Comment and Share
The ebook version of my uplifting and moving fable, The Girl with the Green-Tinted Hair, is now free. Please go and grab yourself a copy. I hope you enjoy it.
And let’s keep in touch. Click on this link to join my monthly newsletter. You will receive a free copy of Memento Mori: A Sneak Peek into a Seeker’s Diary.
Thanks for stopping by.
Blessings.
Gavin
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Learning to Be The Flow

We can’t please everyone.
We can try for sure, but it’s usually in the trying that we see we’re fighting a losing battle.
It really is impossible to get everyone to like you, to accept your ideas, your views and opinions.
Folk have their agendas, just as you have yours.
The past is so well hidden.
Who knows what went on.
What scars were made, and how.
That’s one of the reasons to try and not take things personally.
Even if it involves those whom we thought were a good friend. Even members of our family.
Friends come and go – it’s a bit more tricky with family, I admit.
Those whom we thought were on our side can turn out to be not who we thought they were.
We can feel let down and disheartened.
We all wake up on one side of the bed.
Who’s to say your sunny outlook will be met with a smile by everyone?
It won’t.
It can’t.
Somebody, somewhere, will have woken up on the opposite side to you. (It’s a big bed.)
And visa-versa.
(Happy people can be so annoying.)
The only things that are personal are the things we take personally.
We have a choice.
To enjoy the rainbow we have to put up with the rain.
To make an omelette we have to crack some eggs.
And all that jazz.
One day you will feel like you are doing everything right…
… the next day, everything wrong.
A friend of a friend is a Buddhist and recently went to a Buddhist conference. He told my friend how they were talking about ‘be the flow’, as apposed to ‘go with the flow’.

As my friend said, “Going with implies putting up with, rather than being your own flow.”

Now run along, river.
Before you go, it would be great if you could Like, Comment and Share
The ebook version of my uplifting and moving fable, The Girl with the Green-Tinted Hair, is now free. Please go and grab yourself a copy. I hope you enjoy it.
And let’s keep in touch. Click on this link to join my monthly newsletter. You will receive a free copy of Memento Mori: A Sneak Peek into a Seeker’s Diary.
Thanks for stopping by.
Blessings.
Gavin
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Rearview Mirror

When I was younger, I was prone to looking back.
It’s not a good habit to get into.
It’s like keeping your eye on the rearview mirror, whilst driving.
You miss so much…
… not to mention how dangerous it is.
It’s different from keeping an eye on where we’re going.
That’s safer.
But we still need to be aware of driving the vehicle.
Regardless of how habitual it is to identify with my past and the possibilities of my future, I know it’s my mind playing with itself.
I’m fully aware I’m not just my past.
I’m fully aware I’m not where I’m heading, too, yet there’s a part of me that loves to cling to what isn’t.
A part of me loves to relive memories, saying, “This is what happened to me… this is who I was, back then.”
I am my past and yet I am not my past.
It is still very much a part of me; that is, it is the story I tell people when they ask: “Who are you?”
I can look back and be swept off my feet by nostalgia’s beauty.
It can feel more magical than the present.
How can something that isn’t there fill me with more joy than where the magic takes place?
Quite simply, it can’t, and doesn’t.
It just seems to fill me with more joy because it gives me a break from a chain of unproductive thoughts.
That’s why, when we hear this is all there is, we may feel a sense of disappointment.
“I thought there was more.”
Then we’re not seeing this for what this really is.
To identify with history so the history-making process gets pushed aside for the history it’s already created, is a mistake I’m sure we all make.
Drive safe.
Before you go, it would be great if you could Like, Comment and Share
The ebook version of my uplifting and moving fable, The Girl with the Green-Tinted Hair, is now free. Please go and grab yourself a copy. I hope you enjoy it.
And let’s keep in touch. Click on this link to join my monthly newsletter. You will receive a free copy of Memento Mori: A Sneak Peek into a Seeker’s Diary.
Thanks for stopping by.
Blessings.
Gavin
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Caring About Time

My wife booked us cinema tickets to go and see a rerun of E.T, thinking it would be nice to watch it on the big screen.
We arrived at the cinema, got our tickets, and then was told they had changed the movie.
“So what’s showing instead?” asked my wife.
“Trainspotting,” came the nervous reply from the employee.
Luckily, all the Taiwanese children were at school. Instead of the cute alien in drag, wanting to phone home, they would’ve got a drug addict, diving down a toilet.
The film proved itself to be a timeless classic, making us thankful for the last minute swap.
(I was told, that because it was a film festival, they were allowed to change the movies as and when.)
Watching Trainspotting made me want to watch Trainspotting 2. For some reason or another it wasn’t shown here, in Taiwan.
So when I got home, I watched the trailer and a ten-minute video, which had interviews with the director, Danny Boyle, and all the main actors.
He said something very interesting:
“When we’re teenagers, or in our early twenties, we don’t care about time. But when we grow up, we realize time doesn’t care about us.”
So true.
Although, in my case, when I was in my teens and early twenties, I did care about time.
Maybe too much.
An awareness of the impermanence of my body seemed to kick in rather early.
I was writing ghost stories when I was six.
I would rush to the non-fiction section in the library to read books on ghost sightings and the paranormal.
My early interest in the unseen seemed to be preparing me for something.
Preparing me for the grand becoming.
Life.
The never-ending process of growth.
And the same applies to you.
Before you go, it would be great if you could Like, Comment and Share
The ebook version of my uplifting and moving fable, The Girl with the Green-Tinted Hair, is now free. Please go and grab yourself a copy. I hope you enjoy it.
And let’s keep in touch. Click on this link to join my monthly newsletter. You will receive a free copy of Memento Mori: A Sneak Peek into a Seeker’s Diary.
Thanks for stopping by.
Blessings.
Gavin

Collecting Experiences

I’m not an experience-collector.
Experiencing new things doesn’t make life richer, for my attention is not in the experience, but on the experiencer, therefore the constant flow of experiencing fills my cup rather beautifully, without the need to venture off onto a road less travelled.
Surely anything that is here one moment and gone the next doesn’t qualify as a safe investment of our wellbeing.
Yet I find that’s how the majority of us live.
No singled out experience can top being in unconditional love.
No desire… no fear.
All experience is made out of the same stuff.
See it, and you’ll never feel the urge to “experience something new” ever again.
Don’t see it, and book that cruise in that faraway destination, that you’ve always wanted to see.
When a dog catches its tail, the wagging stops.
Until it starts again.
We don’t need to go anywhere or do anything to feel alive.
It’s all in the being.
A friend who was diagnosed with cancer told me, “Today, I saw the trees.”
They were always there.
Brandon Lee, in his last interview, before being shot and killed, whilst filming The Crow, quoted a book called The Sheltering Sky
It goes:
“Because we don’t know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, five times more, perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps 20. And yet it all seems limitless.” 
It’s all here.
Before you go, it would be great if you could Like, Comment and Share
The ebook version of my uplifting and moving fable, The Girl with the Green-Tinted Hair, is now free. Please go and grab yourself a copy. I hope you enjoy it.
And let’s keep in touch. Click on this link to join my monthly newsletter. You will receive a free copy of Memento Mori: A Sneak Peek into a Seeker’s Diary.
Thanks for stopping by.
Blessings.
Gavin
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Don’t Stare

It’s morning.
I’m in Taipei’s subway.
I’ve just squeezed out of the train.
I’m enjoying breathing and moving my limbs.
So many people. I swear there’re more and more of us.
I’ve been in Taiwan for two and a half years and I find myself thinking, “It wasn’t like this when I first came here.”
It probably was.
I’m walking towards my exit, then something happens.
A shift.
I feel like I’m the only person walking in this direction.
I’m the stubborn ant, refusing to fall in line.
The wave going against the tide.
An ocean of bodies, waves and waves of them, appear in my field of vision.
Where did you all come from?
I’m in awe.
People.
There are people here.
I can see them.
I can really see them.
“Look at you all.”
I can feel a liquid heat rising, from my feet to my chest.
To my throat.
I swallow and bite my lip and suppress a smile.
I’ve seen those who are smiling for no apparent reason; passersby stare at them from the corners of their eyes.
“Just ignore them… don’t stare.”
I’ve even done that myself.
No trust in a causeless love.
But people aren’t noticing me.
I’m hiding this swelling of emotion like a pro.
Every movement made, every blink, smile, frown, crease of the forehead, you name it, it all absorbs my attention, like I’m watching a flower bloom for the first and last time.
I’m in love.
An inexhaustible ocean of it.
The lump in the throat moves north.
I need to control this.
It’s in the eyes now.
I take a deep inhale, and an extra long exhale.
Now I’m outside, still swimming.
So is everybody else…
But they don’t know it.
Somebody smiles at me.
Keep walking, don’t stare.
Before you go, it would be great if you could Like, Comment and Share
The ebook version of my uplifting and moving fable, The Girl with the Green-Tinted Hair, is now free. Please go and grab yourself a copy. I hope you enjoy it.
And let’s keep in touch. Click on this link to join my monthly newsletter. You will receive a free copy of Memento Mori: A Sneak Peek into a Seeker’s Diary.
Thanks for stopping by.
Blessings.
Gavin
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What Would You Do?

Do you allow yourself to relax?
I like to think I do.
I know the importance of relaxation, and I can so easily dish out the advice to a rushing-Ronny to chill out.
I’m certain there’s something in one or more of my own books about how rushing doesn’t get us anywhere, and how “there’s not enough time to rush.”
And yet how easily I fall into the trap of rushing away the magic.
Rushing out of panic – out of fear.
I’ve always felt like I’m running out of time.
I’ve spoken to others who share the same concern.
(One of whom died at the age of 22 – cancer’s work.)
We feel we need to do all we can, because life is a slippery ordeal.
What’s around the corner?
Knowing would spoil the surprise.
(Can I have a clue?)
Many years ago, a friend asked me, “Gav, what would you do if you were diagnosed with cancer?”
“Smile and say thanks,” I said.
Such a smooth talker.
The truth is, how on earth would I know how I would react to such news?
I’m reminded of a story Ram Dass shared:
A warlord comes to a village and kills everyone. There’s news of an old monk who won’t leave his temple. The warlord storms over to the temple and approaches him.
“Don’t you know who I am?” cries the warlord. “I could run this sword straight through you, without blinking an eye.”
The small, old monk looks up at the warlord, smiles and says, “Don’t you know who I am? I could have your sword run through my body and not blink an eye.”
The warlord, amazed and speechless, bows and leaves.
Do I fear the warlord’s sword?
If so, who does that fear belong to?
The monk knew.
Before you go, it would be great if you could Like, Comment and Share
The ebook version of my uplifting and moving fable, The Girl with the Green-Tinted Hair, is now free. Please go and grab yourself a copy. I hope you enjoy it.
And let’s keep in touch. Click on this link to join my monthly newsletter. You will receive a free copy of Memento Mori: A Sneak Peek into a Seeker’s Diary.
Thanks for stopping by.
Blessings.
Gavin
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Disappointments

What do you do with disappointment?
Do you allow yourself to be overcome by it, leading to a bout of despair and helplessness, or do you (can you) separate yourself from it, giving you and it space to breathe?
I’ve had a sting of disappointment recently.
It was my own fault.
I had expectations, and they weren’t met.
Expectations…
Why do we have them? They are based on a process that’s forever flowing; never stationary.
That’s not safe, nor wise.
Life is forever in flux.
It’s like a tree investing its happiness in summer.
Oh, look… what’s that?
A falling leaf.
Sorry, tree. You were foolish enough to expect summer to grant you forever-lasting happiness.
Trying to find happiness in thinking is just as futile.
Thoughts come and go, like clouds in the sky, and we only have ourselves to blame when they disappear with the wind.
The mind will do all that the mind does, and it’s up to us to let it.
Stand in its way, and good luck to you.
Resistance is suffering.
It’s laughable when we get all down in the dumps because life didn’t unfold the way wewanted it to.
Who is this we, this I?
The more I go looking, the more I come back empty-handed.
And yet, when expectations aren’t met, I say, “I am disappointed” not, “there is disappointment.”
No room to breathe.
Every time I experience bliss – and I mean true, blissful, present alertness, where everything that is is unconditional love – God – guess who’s absent…
Gavin.
No more individual me.
No more misidentifying with what isn’t.
Therefore, my suffering must start with me.
That is, with the thought of I.
Identification with the mind, with thought, is the root cause of suffering.
That’s it.

Identification with what isn’t.

Before you go, it would be great if you could Like, Comment and Share
The ebook version of my uplifting and moving fable, The Girl with the Green-Tinted Hair, is now free. Please go and grab yourself a copy. I hope you enjoy it.
And let’s keep in touch. Click on this link to join my monthly newsletter. You will receive a free copy of Memento Mori: A Sneak Peek into a Seeker’s Diary.
Thanks for stopping by.
Blessings.
Gavin

Image info.

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